We praise you lord for your power and mighty grace,

Pursuing God’s agenda and living for him unconditionally can be SO much more challenging at times then just living for ourselves and trying to reap the rewards/gifts/benefits immediately.

Giving our problems/issues/concerns over to God doesn’t always make sense to me. Why would God care so much as to WANT us to lean on him? It boggles my mind…it sometimes just seems easier to not exhale. Just to hold it in, figure it out on my own and just not bother God with it.

Man, that is a hard pill to swallow when you try to see yourself one way and then you realize God sees you the way you were created to be.

Trying to figure out how to get to the point where you have shed all of the garbage that you have fed yourself. The lies that you have bought into your whole life.

It’s rough, but man, God sure does show up in big ways if we just listen to him…and listen to how HE views us.

I wanna be known for having UNWAIVERING FAITH… and to be known that I would do anything for my savior…

Easier said than done though, right?

The past month I have been sitting on this one line that was wrote.

I decided to enroll back in college, something that had been weighing HEAVY on me to complete for the past seven years.

I decided to get involved in a relationship, which I avoided for because I had some HEAVY issues to deal with in myself before I could come to the table for somebody else.

I felt and hurt and cried for the first time in months over the loss of my dad. Missing him weighs HEAVY on my heart.

A heavy moment: telling your family who you REALLY are in Christ. Not just someone that plays in a band at church, but someone that is chasing after God like he has six months to live. I did this two weeks ago.

God shows up in such a big way in these times, but it is really hard to see him right then and there. The one thing I realized though is that we were given the Holy Spirit not to feel something, but to accomplish something.

In the heaviest times through death, addiction, accidents, illness, world tragedies, I am learning how to worship and praise God even more, IN THE MIDDLE OF THESE HEAVY TIMES. It is a twisted idea to get my mind around, but once it clicked, it blew me away.

I can say for the past month I decided NOT to avoid the Heavy moments, and it turns out that God really does give you strength, wisdom, courage through it all. We just gotta have the balls to let him roll with our lives unconditionally.

http://regenerationayk.wordpress.com/2007/05/16/download-ebook-kierkegaards-provocations/

Subjectivity and Truth
Kierkegaard expends great efforts contrasting objective thinking and subjective truth. For him, faith is not a belief but a certain way of being in the truth that extends beyond reason’s ability to grasp. By “subjectivity” Kierkegaard does not mean subjectivism: a belief is true because one believes it to be true.

He is concerned with the degree to which a person “lives within” the truth he confesses. To him subjectivity means turning away from the objective realm of facts – that can be learned by detached observation and abstract thinking – and immersing oneself in the subjective, inward activity of discovering truth for oneself. At its highest pitch, subjectivity culminates in faith – an infinite passion that is both rationally uncertain and paradoxical. Faith requires risk, which objective certainty abhors.

But this is the distinctive mark of Christian faith. Faith means to wager everything and to suffer for the truth, despite the offenses of the Incarnation and the Cross.

Faith, therefore, requires a leap. It is not a matter of galvanizing the will to believe something there is no evidence for, but a leap of commitment. “The leap is the category of decision” – the decision to commit one’s being totally to a God whose existence is rationally uncertain and whose redemption is utterly an offense. This is why, according to Kierkegaard, all proofs for the
existence of God and the deity of Christ fail. To try and prove God’s existence by means of a purely neutral, objective standpoint is completely backwards. It is to go back to the aesthetic
sphere. To the contrary, God is known by way of passionate, undivided commitment. Besides, Christianity is not a doctrine to be taught, but rather a life to be lived. “Proofs” are thus not only unconvincing but irrelevant. God is spirit and therefore can only be known in a spiritual (i.e., subjective, inward) way. The how of one’s existence is what is decisive. Herein lies the importance of commitment; an act of the will that transcends reason’s requirement.

Again, we may refer to Abraham. Here was a man willing to commit infanticide in the name of God. “How then did Abraham exist? He believed. This is the paradox which keeps him upon the sheer edge and which he cannot make clear to any other person, for the paradox is that he as the individual puts himself in an absolute relation to the Absolute.” God requires of each of us this degree of commitment: an absolute relation to the Absolute. Such commitment can be terrifying as God leads us “out upon the deep, over seventy thousand fathoms of water.” And just as Jesus Christ produced certain effects on his contemporaries, to be his in faith one must be a contemporary of his and have vital, decisive contact with him now. There is no such thing as a second-string disciple.